Death came again last night


Tears of SadnessShe had been married nearly twice as long as I have been breathing. She busied herself with changing linens and feeding the cats. There was no holding hands or sweet goodbyes. A desperate need for protection. All of her life connected to his and he taking in his very last breaths in a bed they shared for nearly 67 years. I found her intriguing. A fortress and a fountain. She could not hear my words of caution that death was at the door for her lover. I feel certain if she would have taken in my words they would have broken her into a million shining pieces. She said she was all alone as I glanced at his heaving chest. They had not kissed in awhile. The business of death trumped the passion of life and she yielded to the role of dutiful wife. He took his last breaths in the early morning and confusion set in as she questioned whether or not he was gone. Gone. Where? “What will I do?” “Where will I go?” 
The fabric of their lives together unraveling with each passing moment. She was using her hands to keep busy today. In the future she will have the chance to use them to reweave some of those threads into the fabric of her “new” life. 
She cried deeply as they took him away and whispered out loud “crying does no good”. 
He left then I left. She hugged me at the door.
 I slept. I dreamed. I sobbed and shook while I was dreaming. I woke up altered. They touched me in a deep way. Uncertain as to why I felt so moved by near strangers, I spent the day quieting my heart and mind. 
Death came again last night and reminded me of how precious my life is. It reminded me to surrender, to accept, to trust. Death came to teach me and I continue to learn that it is the most tender part of life. Death is another reason to love without fear. Death comes and I love. Death cannot diminish love it can only enhance it. Death comes and we love. We love.

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