Open Doors

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opendoor1

I know there are mixed feelings about a man opening a door for a woman out there in the world ~ but in my world I want to be very clear that I love it. I really love it! I’m not going to tell you my thoughts about why it happens or doesn’t happen, when it changed and why, or even talk about how confusing of an issue it seems to be right now.
I want to tell you how grateful I am when a man holds a door open for me or takes the time and effort to come around to my side of the car to let me in.
I feel cared for. I feel provided for. I feel taken care of. I feel safe. I feel special. I feel respected. I feel thought of. It invokes other feelings of tenderness, care, and appreciation.
Women are obviously capable of opening doors. We often do. And yet, this simple frequently repeated gesture ~ this offering ~ always always leaves me feeling connected to my man and very feminine. Having a man open my door is one very special part of my relationship. I believe it shows his mindfulness, his willingness to provide, his capacity to cherish and his commitment to the practice of keeping the relationship well tended.
I’m not sure where or when this got ingrained. My father did not open my mother’s doors. But my late husband opened all of mine. And almost all of the long-term relationships that I’ve been in have been with men who open my doors. Yes, I’m from Mississippi, but I’ve also dated a California native who opened my doors for a year and a half. For me there seems to be a correlation between open doors and open hearts. I even have some amazing male friends who make the effort to show their love by “putting me in the car”!
I’ve also had some very short-term relationships in which I have taken care of my own doors. This left me feeling a bit disconnected and confused. And as it turned out I ending up taking care of other things that I would have rather let him take care of. It’s a reciprocal thing! You get the door and I’ll rub your neck while you drive! Win/Win.
If I know that you love fresh towels when you get out of the shower, or that you prefer sprouted whole wheat to regular whole wheat, or that you prefer your eggs a bit more well done than mine, or that you need 15 minutes to decompress after work before we connect than I am more than happy to give you those things. I will do those things, and be mindful of your preferences, and respect your quirks, and honor your requests because you have told me you’d like it and by giving that to you I’m showing you my love, care, respect, admiration, and devotion.
I hope you know that by opening my doors, you are showing me the same. We are tending the same garden and with both of our attention on the details of these small things we can count on a lot of beauty in our relationship!

4 Comments

  1. Shannon says:

    I wish you the best as you express yourself in experiences that were in the past as you share experiences, adventures, and new endeavors that will carry you through Life’s destination!!!

    • Laurel says:

      What a beautiful blessing Shannon! Thank you for your attention and support. I really appreciate that and you.

  2. Diane Hudock says:

    You’ve hit the antithesis of what I’ve pondered over a decade Laurel. I’ve run the gamut of being flattered and honored with the door-opening experience, and also felt challenged in my professional life with a man opening the door/carrying my bags, where I was aware of business-related competitive energy. Regardless of any any intention on the ‘door- opener’s’ part for me in the present, I now kindly accept with gratitude, grace, confidence and a smile, every time. I’ve recently become open to gentlemen helping me place my suticase in the overhead carrier on planes, and making a point to look them in the eye and say, “thank you for being a gentleman and helping me with that”. Amazing how many doors open in conversation with accepting such a simple gesture :-). Thank you for sharing your post with this Laurel.

    • Laurel says:

      Hi Diane! Thanks so much for taking the time to comment on this post and often sensitive issue! Here’s to calling in more open doors~ in every way!!!

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